A giraffe at the wedding
March 15th 2008 07:03
At my age, I’ve attended too many weddings. In the history of all the weddings I’ve had to sit through, I can honestly say that apart from that moment where the bridegroom sees the bride for the first time, weddings bore me.
Yes, I know. They’re romantic and there’s at least the whiff of ‘happily ever afters’ in the air, despite the table of divorcees stuck in the corner, quaffing back the free champagne. But the service invariably goes on too long as the rabbi or the priest or the imam proselytizes the virtues of nuptial togetherness and the congregation regrets having worn those high heels; the speeches definitely go on too long as it becomes painfully clearer that the MC or the best man was not chosen for his wit and public speaking abilities. And one is unavoidably stuck at a table with people one does not know and has no desire to get to know.
I’m not a love cynic. Far from it. I’m not even a romance cynic. Perhaps it’s the over-commercialization of weddings that has ruined it for me. Perhaps it’s my sense of what a godawful waste of money the whole affair is – money that could so much more beneficially used by the married couple towards something useful, like a deposit on a house.
Weddings are also very often incredibly dull for those not actually getting married. It is seldom one attends a wedding that turns out to be a marvelous experience for all concerned.
My sister’s wedding however (and I am not being biased here) was truly the best wedding I’ve ever been to – including my own, which was rather special in its own way.
Her husband to be, has been married before and wasn’t interested in the little garden wedding my parents had in mind. To his credit, he withstood the withering prospective in-law guilt and quietly affirmed that at his age (he’s in his fifties), he was entitled to have the wedding he and my sister wanted, and not the kind of wedding that necessarily pleases the parents (good on him). Since he is a great lover of the outdoors, he wanted to get married amongst animals and near water. But being far from the sea, Johannesburg doesn’t offer many options, unless he was thinking of the zoo and hey – it would at least be something different from the worn-down red carpeted country clubs with their fatigued buffets.
Instead, he and my sister chose Heia Safari as their wedding venue, a wildlife lodge in Muldersdrift, half an hour outside of Johannesburg where ‘wild animals roam freely.’ I did wonder what exactly my sister and her partner had in mind, since ‘wild animals’ are called ‘wild’ for a reason and exactly how close could they come up to one and were there lions?
As it turned out, there were no obviously vicious animals – though when we arrived at Heia Safari, there were enormous signs everywhere ‘beware of the peacocks.’ Peacocks? How dangerous could a frigging peacock be? Apparently, they can be quite vicious and have been known to peck the daylights out of humans they perceive to be threatening.
Wandering in and among the thatched huts were springbok and other adorable looking fawnlike creatures, not to mention those treacherous peacocks. And while we were sitting around the pool for sundowners, a couple of zebra meandered up to take a drink.
The following day, the chuppah was set up – that’s the four-cornered canopy symbolizing the home the couple will make together in a Jewish wedding – at the edge of a huge man-made dam. By far for me, the most captivating photograph taken on that day, was the one below. Just before all the guests were escorted down to the dam in land rovers, a giraffe had strolled up to see what was going on. It checked out the drinks table, wandered amongst the chairs before disappearing into the bushes.
The bridal party arrived in a bridally-decorated landrover, and the guests, who had been told to ‘dress comfortably’ in their wide-brimmed hats, shorts and hiking boots, stood under umbrellas as the rabbi married my sister and her husband and wild birds screeched their approval from the dam.
After the ceremony, a series of land rovers drove the guests in batches up to a small Zulu village in the hills, where a traditional Zulu banquet awaited us. Lamb stew, mielie pap (porridge), beans, cabbage and pumpkin were served in huge potjies (three legged pots), as guests helped themselves on wooden plates with large wooden spoons.
Later, there was Zulu dancing and everyone joined in. And then a soccer ball magically appeared and my son found himself playing soccer with a Zulu warrior in traditional Zulu regalia.
At the end of a wonderful day, while driving back to the huts, we passed eland and possibly the same mother giraffe with her baby who looked lazily at us from her lofty countenance as she munched leaves.
All weddings are special to the people getting married. But few are special to everyone who attended. For days after my sister’s wedding, we received calls from people who had been there - people couldn’t stop talking about it. Was it the novelty? Or was it something more? I wondered.
There was certainly something magical about that ceremony in which land, water, beast and bride were linked together in a mystical bond beneath the African sky on a glorious day in September. Stripped of the conventional trappings of religious weddings, which are heavy with tradition and tired with repetition, with nature hovering, this little wedding seemed to touch everyone. You know that sense of wonder you feel whenever you catch a glimpse of whales or dolphins? They always remind me of the insignificance of the little dramas of my own life and how many hidden worlds co-exist beside us in the massive universe. And so I like to imagine (and here’s the romantic in me), that that old giraffe came by to bless the space with her footprints before my sister made her sacred vows in the rugged sanctuary of the outdoors. As if to remind us humans that we are sharing this earth with others.
Really Long Link
www.joannefedler.com
Yes, I know. They’re romantic and there’s at least the whiff of ‘happily ever afters’ in the air, despite the table of divorcees stuck in the corner, quaffing back the free champagne. But the service invariably goes on too long as the rabbi or the priest or the imam proselytizes the virtues of nuptial togetherness and the congregation regrets having worn those high heels; the speeches definitely go on too long as it becomes painfully clearer that the MC or the best man was not chosen for his wit and public speaking abilities. And one is unavoidably stuck at a table with people one does not know and has no desire to get to know.
I’m not a love cynic. Far from it. I’m not even a romance cynic. Perhaps it’s the over-commercialization of weddings that has ruined it for me. Perhaps it’s my sense of what a godawful waste of money the whole affair is – money that could so much more beneficially used by the married couple towards something useful, like a deposit on a house.
Weddings are also very often incredibly dull for those not actually getting married. It is seldom one attends a wedding that turns out to be a marvelous experience for all concerned.
My sister’s wedding however (and I am not being biased here) was truly the best wedding I’ve ever been to – including my own, which was rather special in its own way.
Her husband to be, has been married before and wasn’t interested in the little garden wedding my parents had in mind. To his credit, he withstood the withering prospective in-law guilt and quietly affirmed that at his age (he’s in his fifties), he was entitled to have the wedding he and my sister wanted, and not the kind of wedding that necessarily pleases the parents (good on him). Since he is a great lover of the outdoors, he wanted to get married amongst animals and near water. But being far from the sea, Johannesburg doesn’t offer many options, unless he was thinking of the zoo and hey – it would at least be something different from the worn-down red carpeted country clubs with their fatigued buffets.
Instead, he and my sister chose Heia Safari as their wedding venue, a wildlife lodge in Muldersdrift, half an hour outside of Johannesburg where ‘wild animals roam freely.’ I did wonder what exactly my sister and her partner had in mind, since ‘wild animals’ are called ‘wild’ for a reason and exactly how close could they come up to one and were there lions?
As it turned out, there were no obviously vicious animals – though when we arrived at Heia Safari, there were enormous signs everywhere ‘beware of the peacocks.’ Peacocks? How dangerous could a frigging peacock be? Apparently, they can be quite vicious and have been known to peck the daylights out of humans they perceive to be threatening.
Wandering in and among the thatched huts were springbok and other adorable looking fawnlike creatures, not to mention those treacherous peacocks. And while we were sitting around the pool for sundowners, a couple of zebra meandered up to take a drink.
The following day, the chuppah was set up – that’s the four-cornered canopy symbolizing the home the couple will make together in a Jewish wedding – at the edge of a huge man-made dam. By far for me, the most captivating photograph taken on that day, was the one below. Just before all the guests were escorted down to the dam in land rovers, a giraffe had strolled up to see what was going on. It checked out the drinks table, wandered amongst the chairs before disappearing into the bushes.
The bridal party arrived in a bridally-decorated landrover, and the guests, who had been told to ‘dress comfortably’ in their wide-brimmed hats, shorts and hiking boots, stood under umbrellas as the rabbi married my sister and her husband and wild birds screeched their approval from the dam.
After the ceremony, a series of land rovers drove the guests in batches up to a small Zulu village in the hills, where a traditional Zulu banquet awaited us. Lamb stew, mielie pap (porridge), beans, cabbage and pumpkin were served in huge potjies (three legged pots), as guests helped themselves on wooden plates with large wooden spoons.
Later, there was Zulu dancing and everyone joined in. And then a soccer ball magically appeared and my son found himself playing soccer with a Zulu warrior in traditional Zulu regalia.
At the end of a wonderful day, while driving back to the huts, we passed eland and possibly the same mother giraffe with her baby who looked lazily at us from her lofty countenance as she munched leaves.
All weddings are special to the people getting married. But few are special to everyone who attended. For days after my sister’s wedding, we received calls from people who had been there - people couldn’t stop talking about it. Was it the novelty? Or was it something more? I wondered.
There was certainly something magical about that ceremony in which land, water, beast and bride were linked together in a mystical bond beneath the African sky on a glorious day in September. Stripped of the conventional trappings of religious weddings, which are heavy with tradition and tired with repetition, with nature hovering, this little wedding seemed to touch everyone. You know that sense of wonder you feel whenever you catch a glimpse of whales or dolphins? They always remind me of the insignificance of the little dramas of my own life and how many hidden worlds co-exist beside us in the massive universe. And so I like to imagine (and here’s the romantic in me), that that old giraffe came by to bless the space with her footprints before my sister made her sacred vows in the rugged sanctuary of the outdoors. As if to remind us humans that we are sharing this earth with others.
Really Long Link
www.joannefedler.com
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Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
What a great idea (and what a great post). If I get married I am intent on bypassing the same old wedding schedule and doing something fun and interesting.
Michaelie
Comment by Hazel Castillo
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Movie Dime
Parent Adventures
I envy those who can pull this off. I come for a very conservative sort of family and very catholic so doing something like this might raise some eyebrows. But i'd do this on our like 25th wedding anniversary! hahaha
about 21 more years to go lol
Comment by Kim Lock
Diving About
My husband and I married on a beach at dawn. We only invited immediate family, had one best man and one bridesmaid. There were 13 guests!! All our friends were invited to a party a few weeks later. Weddings should be about the couple getting married - what fits with their lives - and with the people closest to them, instead of being dictated by traditions, familial expectations and ridiculously overpriced trimmings.
Kim
Comment by Jill Browne
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