Does your job add value in the world or is it (let's be honest here) just a wank?
March 27th 2008 01:08
A couple of weekends ago, after the Six Foot Track, I met a lovely fireman by the name of Russell. While I must confess to thinking all firemen are lovely, (they are at the very least given the benefit of loveliness until asshole behaviour proves otherwise) he was – noble profession aside - a very decent sort of bloke who proved to be a very interesting conversation companion. Since sitting at a desk all day long pondering the conundrums of life is just about as antithetical to the job of a fireman as one can get, I found myself asking him a lot of questions about his work. I have a fascination with occupations that – let’s just be frank here – actually make a difference in the world.
Russell the Fireman was kind and generous enough to propose that ‘all jobs add value’ to the world. I appreciated his open-hearted assertion, aimed at making those of us writers of the world feel something other than intellectual wankers. But I had to disagree: what about real estate agents? He conceded. Lawyers? He shrugged. Parking rangers? Tobacco manufacturers? By now I had him on my side.
‘You actually get to stop fires and save peoples’ lives,’ I asserted, as if he didn’t already know that. ‘Sometimes,’ he said, ‘but a lot of the time we sit around waiting and watching tv.’ I imagine being a fireman could get boring at times, where one might be forced for days on end when arsonists are having a quiet week, to watch endless daytime tv and listen to to Dr Phil. But even if Russell and all his other firemen friends watched Jerry Springer and ate donuts all day every day, and only ONCE, actually saved someone’s earthly possessions or their lives – I reckon that would be enough to disqualify them in perpetuity from being inscribed in the Book of Oxygen Thieves. Firemen are not oxygen thieves. Neither are nurses, teachers (especially those who work in public schools), electricians, medical researchers, plumbers, garbos and all those people who work in non-profit organizations, trying to get food and clean water to the third world.
Albert Einstein is reputed to have said that if he had his life over, he would choose to be a plumber. Einstein obviously understood that the mysteries of the universe are insignificant when you have a blocked toilet.
Today, top of my list of worthy professions is: people who can fix dishwashers. I would give my kingdom for a person who could work out why the water won’t drain, why the lights keep flashing and beeping, and why I-20 keeps flashing at me. With all my degrees in jurisprudence and bloody narrative structure, I can’t get my dishwasher to do what it’s meant to.
While I figure a university education was a wonderful experience, and I got to do things I would probably never otherwise have done like read James Joyce and Nietzsche, I am not the first person you want to pitch up in a crisis, when the artery has ruptured or the tire has burst. It’s a little humbling to realize that all the things I’m good at, have absolutely zero effect in making the world a better and safer place. And while I do believe doctors on the whole are necessary and save lives, too many of them suffer from massive egos - has a doctor ever apologized to you after keeping you waiting? They really do walk around believing their time is much more important than everyone else's, when ... it probably is.
So here are my ten tips on how to work out whether your job adds (real) value in the world or is, sorry to say, just a bit of a wank. Your job adds value in the world if:
1. When you arrive people say, ‘Thank God you’re here’
2. No-one walks away from you feeling ripped off
3. At the end of the day you can see the results of your labour
4. Nobody ever tells you to ‘go away’ or swears at you
5. You count lives, not money
6. People don’t avoid your calls
7. Nobody ever threatens to sue you
8. Nobody ever tells you they want a ‘second opinion’
9. You make broken things work
10. People send you thank you cards
What do you reckon is the Most Useless Job in the world?
www.joannefedler.com
Russell the Fireman was kind and generous enough to propose that ‘all jobs add value’ to the world. I appreciated his open-hearted assertion, aimed at making those of us writers of the world feel something other than intellectual wankers. But I had to disagree: what about real estate agents? He conceded. Lawyers? He shrugged. Parking rangers? Tobacco manufacturers? By now I had him on my side.
‘You actually get to stop fires and save peoples’ lives,’ I asserted, as if he didn’t already know that. ‘Sometimes,’ he said, ‘but a lot of the time we sit around waiting and watching tv.’ I imagine being a fireman could get boring at times, where one might be forced for days on end when arsonists are having a quiet week, to watch endless daytime tv and listen to to Dr Phil. But even if Russell and all his other firemen friends watched Jerry Springer and ate donuts all day every day, and only ONCE, actually saved someone’s earthly possessions or their lives – I reckon that would be enough to disqualify them in perpetuity from being inscribed in the Book of Oxygen Thieves. Firemen are not oxygen thieves. Neither are nurses, teachers (especially those who work in public schools), electricians, medical researchers, plumbers, garbos and all those people who work in non-profit organizations, trying to get food and clean water to the third world.
US Aid relief workers
Albert Einstein is reputed to have said that if he had his life over, he would choose to be a plumber. Einstein obviously understood that the mysteries of the universe are insignificant when you have a blocked toilet.
Today, top of my list of worthy professions is: people who can fix dishwashers. I would give my kingdom for a person who could work out why the water won’t drain, why the lights keep flashing and beeping, and why I-20 keeps flashing at me. With all my degrees in jurisprudence and bloody narrative structure, I can’t get my dishwasher to do what it’s meant to.
While I figure a university education was a wonderful experience, and I got to do things I would probably never otherwise have done like read James Joyce and Nietzsche, I am not the first person you want to pitch up in a crisis, when the artery has ruptured or the tire has burst. It’s a little humbling to realize that all the things I’m good at, have absolutely zero effect in making the world a better and safer place. And while I do believe doctors on the whole are necessary and save lives, too many of them suffer from massive egos - has a doctor ever apologized to you after keeping you waiting? They really do walk around believing their time is much more important than everyone else's, when ... it probably is.
poster by artist Barbara Mock
So here are my ten tips on how to work out whether your job adds (real) value in the world or is, sorry to say, just a bit of a wank. Your job adds value in the world if:
1. When you arrive people say, ‘Thank God you’re here’
2. No-one walks away from you feeling ripped off
3. At the end of the day you can see the results of your labour
4. Nobody ever tells you to ‘go away’ or swears at you
5. You count lives, not money
6. People don’t avoid your calls
7. Nobody ever threatens to sue you
8. Nobody ever tells you they want a ‘second opinion’
9. You make broken things work
10. People send you thank you cards
What do you reckon is the Most Useless Job in the world?
www.joannefedler.com
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Comment by Jayne Kearney
Writers In Writing (and other writing)
As to more noble pursuits, how good are midwives? A variation on the equally noble profession of nursing I know, but they are literally at the frontline of life.
However, I don't think they can tick off Point 4 on your list "Nobody ever tells you to 'go away' or swears at you"!!
Jayne
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
Comment by AmyHuang
Project Job Search
Travel Debate
Travel String
Love Adventures
That's why I am ditching it to become a writer, or at least do something more meaningful.
Comment by AmyHuang
Project Job Search
Travel Debate
Travel String
Love Adventures
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
I am a psychotherapist and work with folks who have many complex issues. My career is very rewarding however, sometimes my job is a bit of a wank.....
3. At the end of the day you can see the results of your labour it sometimes takes weeks and months to see results
4. Nobody ever tells you to ‘go away’ or swears at you happens all the time
6. People don’t avoid your calls
yes they do
7. Nobody ever threatens to sue you
Not yet but you never know. I have worked with many pissed off people!
8. Nobody ever tells you they want a ‘second opinion’
I covet second opinions
But I am safe with the rest!
Great Post!
Mis
Comment by Joanne Fedler
And just because you could tick off so many things on my list means I need to go back and revise my list. I hear you - you get abused for being helpful... that happens. I used to counsel women in a women's crisis centre, and eventually had to stop.
Thanks for your insightful remarks,
Jo
Comment by Anonymous
For all its waffle, there is a really important line in 'Desiderata' - "Do not compare yourself with others, for always there will be greater and lesser than yourself"