I got a taste of what it might be like to lose my son.
July 22nd 2009 05:38
He started to convulse, he lost all colour in his skin, and his eyes turned white.
All of it happened in seconds and in front of me. I had thoughts of the darkest place you can imagine, I went somewhere that I do not ever want to go again.
A fear so extraordinary that it engulfed my body totally and sent me uncontrollably
into a black hole that I am still afraid of, but am starting to look into.
Thanks to everyone including the paramedics and the hospital staff especially the wonderful doctor in emergency for her calming and caring manner.
My son is alright, in fact the episode lasted about an hour by which time he was in hospital and he was soon awake and fine.
The medical term for what happened is FEBRILE CONVULSION and it occurs in about 1 out of 20 children below the age of 6 years.
It is brought on by a high temperature usually due to an infection.
See below for a link to a vic-health fact sheet or just google the term FEBRILE CONVULSIONS.
vic.gov health site
This prose is about my experience.
I got a taste of what it might be like to lose my son
I sensed an urgency,
a terrible feeling of despair,
being afraid of eminent and harrowing shadows,
all, confronting emotions to overcome,
especially when it concerns my love, my son!
It is my silent desire,
that on every breath and every reflection
I do not see any self pity,
I could not bear to speak the story of a once wonderful boy in my life,
for it is dreaded the path of green that leads to this awful black,
it’s a sorrowful song, sung amongst the mountain reeds
all by yourself, away from all who may hear it,
nay, it’s perhaps for the ghosts that live in the twilight of my mind.
Skyward the light shines, it illuminates a path of blue,
all matters seem so distant,
nothing crosses this invisible and unbroken circle surrounding me,
I am tired of fighting and of wandering,
there’s too many mountains to cross and too many smiles to fake,
there is only a sense of despair now,
I need to rest and sleep quietly and allow all these storm clouds to pass me by.
Above all else I need to see him well again,
I need to have his reason in my life to want to live.
original prose
by Alex Teli
written July 20 2009
All of it happened in seconds and in front of me. I had thoughts of the darkest place you can imagine, I went somewhere that I do not ever want to go again.
A fear so extraordinary that it engulfed my body totally and sent me uncontrollably
into a black hole that I am still afraid of, but am starting to look into.
Thanks to everyone including the paramedics and the hospital staff especially the wonderful doctor in emergency for her calming and caring manner.
My son is alright, in fact the episode lasted about an hour by which time he was in hospital and he was soon awake and fine.
The medical term for what happened is FEBRILE CONVULSION and it occurs in about 1 out of 20 children below the age of 6 years.
It is brought on by a high temperature usually due to an infection.
See below for a link to a vic-health fact sheet or just google the term FEBRILE CONVULSIONS.
vic.gov health site
This prose is about my experience.
I got a taste of what it might be like to lose my son
I sensed an urgency,
a terrible feeling of despair,
being afraid of eminent and harrowing shadows,
all, confronting emotions to overcome,
especially when it concerns my love, my son!
It is my silent desire,
that on every breath and every reflection
I do not see any self pity,
I could not bear to speak the story of a once wonderful boy in my life,
for it is dreaded the path of green that leads to this awful black,
it’s a sorrowful song, sung amongst the mountain reeds
all by yourself, away from all who may hear it,
nay, it’s perhaps for the ghosts that live in the twilight of my mind.
Skyward the light shines, it illuminates a path of blue,
all matters seem so distant,
nothing crosses this invisible and unbroken circle surrounding me,
I am tired of fighting and of wandering,
there’s too many mountains to cross and too many smiles to fake,
there is only a sense of despair now,
I need to rest and sleep quietly and allow all these storm clouds to pass me by.
Above all else I need to see him well again,
I need to have his reason in my life to want to live.
original prose
by Alex Teli
written July 20 2009
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Comment by Wilson Pon
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Be strong, my friend. Remember, time tames the strongest grief...
Comment by Journeywoman
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'the ghosts that live in the twilight of my mind' - love it.
Comment by quatro
Secret Writers Business
Time to Read !
My son is ok. It is something I never want to go through again.
thanks for the kind words
Alex
Comment by quatro
Secret Writers Business
Time to Read !
you are so right, my writing has always been a strong calming influence in my life.
Yes, my son is ok.
thank you for your words of encouragement.
Alex
Comment by Carolyn Cordon
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Comment by quatro
Secret Writers Business
Time to Read !
firstly my son is ok and secondly you are so right. Where does one go if one loses a child.
For a very short time my thoughts went to a place of utter despair and it was horrible. Yes I panicked, and if the earth swallowed me up at that moment instead of what I thought was my child I would have gladly accepted it. I guess that would apply to all parents.
But, he is ok and he will be fine.
I guess this post is for me as much as it is for parents to be informed about this condition and hopefully be somewhat prepared in the case it happens to them.
thanks
Alex
Comment by David O'Connell
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Rest easy and take care,
David