Ten reasons why it is simply fabulous to have a vagina
May 8th 2008 06:25
My eight year old son is very pleased with his penis. Is this a boy thing? This unbridled joy (which apparently must be shared with others) at this anatomical ownership. I personally for one, have never felt the need to brag about my vagina. Yet I find I am most pleased with it.
When I was a kid I thought it would be fantastic if I could see into other peoples’ minds and read their thoughts. I especially wanted this power so I could find out if Jonathan Fisher even knew I existed.
But as I’ve matured, I’ve come to appreciate the mystique of the unknown – that we can never look inside someone else’s thoughts and must be content with the means of communication we have.
It is for this reason, I can honestly say I have never in my life suffered from penis envy. I cannot imagine the indignity and exposure of having a part of my body announce to all the world what I am thinking. While I am a great admirer of male anatomy in the appropriate context, and even have my own personal preferences of circumcised over uncircumcised, a certain width over length, and can even objectively imagine that it might be fun to wield a body part over which one could hang a towel, I have never hankered to actually own one.
I honestly cannot understand what Freud had in mind when he said women suffer from penis envy. Perhaps he meant it ironically.
There is a neatness, a subtlety to female anatomy that I consider unrivalled. In fact, I think there’s a name for it – this labelling of penis envy. It’s projection. It’s time to out this truth. Penis envy is a myth. Those who claim women have it, are suffering from an acute case of vagina-envy.
Here are ten good reasons why vaginas are fabulous body parts:
1. They are self-cleansing.
2. They are flexible and, should they be heterosexually inclined, can accommodate a variety of sizes when it comes to male genitals (no penis I know has the ability to expand depending on the requirements of the particular vagina it is snuggling into).
3. They are pretty as a rosebud.
4. They are warm and cosy.
5. They generously expand to great anatomical lengths in childbirth.
6. Vaginas are not used as weapons against the opposite sex. Vaginas ask permission before they insist on sexual contact and require the consent of an erection before pouncing.
7. Vaginas have clitoris’s which if used in the correct fashion, are bloody miraculous little power-points into a place of sheer bodily ecstasy.
8. Vaginas are capable of two DIFFERENT kinds of orgasm – vaginal and clitoral. I do believe an ejaculation is an ejaculation.
9. They possess an innate modesty and see no reason to brag. Size, when it comes to vaginas, is irrelevant.
10. They work hard and can multitask – managing menstrual flow, childbirth and the vagaries of penetration.
Personally, I couldn’t think of a lovelier genital arrangement than that of the vagina. Ok, so I am bragging.
www.joannefedler.com
When I was a kid I thought it would be fantastic if I could see into other peoples’ minds and read their thoughts. I especially wanted this power so I could find out if Jonathan Fisher even knew I existed.
But as I’ve matured, I’ve come to appreciate the mystique of the unknown – that we can never look inside someone else’s thoughts and must be content with the means of communication we have.
It is for this reason, I can honestly say I have never in my life suffered from penis envy. I cannot imagine the indignity and exposure of having a part of my body announce to all the world what I am thinking. While I am a great admirer of male anatomy in the appropriate context, and even have my own personal preferences of circumcised over uncircumcised, a certain width over length, and can even objectively imagine that it might be fun to wield a body part over which one could hang a towel, I have never hankered to actually own one.
I honestly cannot understand what Freud had in mind when he said women suffer from penis envy. Perhaps he meant it ironically.
There is a neatness, a subtlety to female anatomy that I consider unrivalled. In fact, I think there’s a name for it – this labelling of penis envy. It’s projection. It’s time to out this truth. Penis envy is a myth. Those who claim women have it, are suffering from an acute case of vagina-envy.
Here are ten good reasons why vaginas are fabulous body parts:
1. They are self-cleansing.
2. They are flexible and, should they be heterosexually inclined, can accommodate a variety of sizes when it comes to male genitals (no penis I know has the ability to expand depending on the requirements of the particular vagina it is snuggling into).
3. They are pretty as a rosebud.
4. They are warm and cosy.
5. They generously expand to great anatomical lengths in childbirth.
6. Vaginas are not used as weapons against the opposite sex. Vaginas ask permission before they insist on sexual contact and require the consent of an erection before pouncing.
7. Vaginas have clitoris’s which if used in the correct fashion, are bloody miraculous little power-points into a place of sheer bodily ecstasy.
8. Vaginas are capable of two DIFFERENT kinds of orgasm – vaginal and clitoral. I do believe an ejaculation is an ejaculation.
9. They possess an innate modesty and see no reason to brag. Size, when it comes to vaginas, is irrelevant.
10. They work hard and can multitask – managing menstrual flow, childbirth and the vagaries of penetration.
Personally, I couldn’t think of a lovelier genital arrangement than that of the vagina. Ok, so I am bragging.
www.joannefedler.com
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Comment by Jayne Kearney
Writers In Writing (and other writing)
What a fabulous and funny post - very empowering for the vagina-bearing of the species!
I love your images. Comically reminiscent of the phallic tower shots and train-in-a tunnel montages of old films - although I must say I've only seen it done in parody and, of course, can't remember which film did it in a fantastically exaggerated way. Something with Mike Myers perhaps.
Thanks for going in to bat for the vagina. We salute you with our rosebud lips - and not the ones on our faces!!
Jayne
Comment by Natalie 2
Beta Girl Blog
I wasn't going to write the following sentence, as I thought it to be rather cliche, but I can't help it...it fits...
You go Girl!
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Love the list, especially:
9. They possess an innate modesty and see no reason to brag. Size, when it comes to vaginas, is irrelevant.
So true,
Tracy
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
Loved point two Jo - though I bet most of us have wished at some point that penises COULD adapt to accomodate each woman!
I can't say I have ever envied the penis either, not physically. Maybe what the posession of one means, by way of traditional phallocentric rights?
I changed my own tyre recently, only to have not one, but TWO passersby kindly advise me that I would be better off getting a man to take over the task. One was a woman who suggested I get an RACV 'bloke' to help me, and the other was an older male who offered to stop the next young man who went by.
I am in the RACV, but I am perfectly capable of changing my own tyre. A penis would not assist me in any way - unless I could use it to tighten the nuts.
Michaelie
Comment by RubySoho
Thought Zone
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Current Business News
Movie Train
Artist Quirk
i have the exact textbook definition of penis envy, although its probably more like "whole-body envy" haha
its probably way too many years of working in male-dominated workplaces, but i feel like (to others) a penis equals respect . . . and plus you can stick it in stuff! haha
great post joanne!
Comment by Garrett Mickley
Garrett's Absolution
Digital Product Reviews
More like a temptation for disaster.
My girlfriend often asks me if it's strange or uncomfortable having a penis.
My answer is always "yes."
At least it doesn't cramp and bleed 7 days out of the month.
Other than that, I do have vagina-envy.
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Current Business News
Movie Train
Artist Quirk
ive actually heard men say they are jealous that women get to birth children and i just think: why?
sounds awful, remind me to never ever do that with my body! lol
boobs are good, they go with alot of nice outfits, but i think vaginas are fairly high maintenance . . . although i guess penises could be too . . . maybe a like smooth mound like barbie or ken would be ideal?
Comment by postmoderncritic
Postmodern Critic
Daily Inspirations
Relativity Watch
Freud is a bit outdated for most modern feminist purposes I believe...
I can see the benefits of having both a vagina or a penis, I think it's about making the most of what you have and loving yourself.
Btw, did you know that vaginas can also ejaculate?
Comment by Irene
Women In Cinema
Grammar Matters
#6 - Well....okay, they do require an erection in order to sufficiently envelop the penis, but the physical reaction does not always equal consent. You know what they say about penises having a mind of their own...
#8 - Hey, women can ejaculate too! It's rare though. I think it has to be learned. (In other words, I don't, but I know that it can be done.)
Comment by postmoderncritic
Postmodern Critic
Daily Inspirations
Relativity Watch
I can't ejaculate either, but have seen porn sites dedicated to female ejaculations. Then there was that Sex and the City episode when Samantha was dating Maria.
Comment by Joanne Fedler
Secret Writers Business
However, this only ADDS to my point - if vaginas can ALSO ejaculate, then there are um, three types of orgasm you can have with a vagina. They just get better and better....
Jo
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Sleezer's World
It also makes a handy handle for rescuers to grab onto if your drowning while skinny dipping.
Uh oh, I can feel a list welling up and clamoring for attention, sort of like that little weasels unfortunate and unsolicited awakening in public places.
I can't believe you said that in public, ya trying to embarrass me? Shhh.. Quiet helmet head, no one besides males is to know that you can talk . . .
Raven
Comment by Brad Gaylard
Movie Catcher
Mens Zen
Regarding the 2 different types of vaginal orgasm... I interviewed a Tantrika (Tantra Instructor) last week for an article I'm writing and she informed me that there are actually 8 different types of orgasms that a woman can have.
2 out of 8 ain't bad though. Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp...erm... stick.
Comment by Raoul Duke
Style of Eye
Comment by Joanne Fedler
Secret Writers Business
Jo
Comment by Brad Gaylard
Movie Catcher
Mens Zen
Other than that, I'm not an expert. Try visiting a tantra instructor - it involves breaking down the orgasm-based sexual conditioning we've had all our lives and focusing on a more self-aware, living-in-the-moment, contolled and connected approach to sexuality.
Comment by stu-kicks
Comment by Joanne Fedler
Secret Writers Business
Comment by stu-kicks
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Is that you Eve Ensler?
Great post!
Stay well all and share the love
Comment by Danielle 2
According to Blog
Game Toes
Comment by Mountain Fog
Infognito
errrr...sure about that?
what about a good ole dose of...
THRUSH???
besides, the penis can and does change shape and is easy to keep clean, and it does not require internal flushing elixirs, which some vagina owners seem not to think about, from memory...shudder!!
No...no vagina envy here, that's for sure!
cheers
fog
P.S. However, vaginas are very important, because they are the delivery system for more penises!!
YIP.....PEEE!!!
Comment by What's Your Story?
What's Your Story?
So You're Getting Married
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Dont worry Raven, we have pull toys - theyre called breasts.
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by jayessel
Comment by postmoderncritic
Postmodern Critic
Daily Inspirations
Relativity Watch
Can't there be more than one woman who speaks up for the glory of her anatomy?
Comment by Jessicca
Health 2 Know
Learning Something Everyday
Daily History
Malaysia Found
Thank you so much for sharing your points to all of us and well the good thing about women's inconvenient "monthly episodes" is that we actually have an auto cleansing system to make sure our blood remains circulated and regenerated and our liver at the end of the day doesn't have to take in so much corps of blood cell in it.
Do you know that men are encourage to donate blood more than women because they do not have such "auto cleansing system"?
Anyway for those who are mothers out there! Salute to all of them who has gone through all the changes in their body for their children!
Happy Mothers Day!
(A little late but still good!)
Have a blessed day